Surfacing

I haven't posted in ages because life's been really busy. This new job means I'm in charge of several codes of the budget, and the end of our fiscal year is June 30, so I'm simultaneously trying to get everything closed for the fiscal year and also look ahead to what's going to be happening while I'm out on leave. I think I might actually be getting the hang of this, too.

Mr. NK and I went to Virginia weekend before last to visit his favorite aunt and uncle; his parents drove up and met us there. It was a nice trip - I love this particular aunt and uncle, and am almost closer to them than I am to my in-laws. Uncle C. took us fishing (I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but not only did I help them catch crawdads in the stream for bait, I also spent several hours on the fishing boat...only caught one smallmouth, though) and the weather was gorgeous. Even the 9-hour drive each way wasn't bad.

This past weekend we went to my mom's for Mother's Day. On Saturday I took a big leap of faith and allowed my mom to take me baby-clothes shopping. I've never been the type to go all gaga over baby clothes, but maybe that's because I had a boy last time - something about the girl clothes made it almost impossible to restrain ourselves. I came home with a little lavender-flowered sleeper to bring the Pad home in; an adorable navy dress with daisies and a matching hat; a tiny pair of pink striped overalls; and tons of other cute things. I had a moment of panic, thinking "Oh god, I can't do this - what if something goes wrong and I have to look at this stuff hanging in the closet, unused?" But then I thought that a) I'm not going to CAUSE something bad to happen by buying clothes; and b) I want to have some happy memories of this pregnancy, no matter what happens. Now let's just hope she's really a girl, because I love that daisy dress so much that I'm putting it on whatever comes out.

On Sunday my brother and SIL brought baby Emma over - the first time I'd seen them since the hospital. I was nervous about that, but it actually went really well. Emma is adorable, and I was able to be natural with my brother and SIL - in fact, I was even able to remember how much I like them both. What happened is never going to not hurt, but I don't have the urge to never speak to them again like I once did.

The day before, SIL had called my mom to finalize their plans and asked to speak to me. When I got on, she shyly said that they had a bunch of little onesies and sleepers that Emma had outgrown, and if I wanted them, she'd be happy to bring them. I said yes because I felt like I couldn't say no, but when we hung up I felt sort of crappy - the one thing I swore I wouldn't do, when I found out Emma was a girl, was take their hand-me-downs. But the next day when she brought the bag of clothes, I didn't feel as weird as I expected taking them.

Maybe I'm finally growing up.

In other news, I'm officially on to biweekly appointments - had one last Tuesday at which I learned that: I'd gained 7 lbs in the month previous, breaking my pound-a-week streak (I blame the biscuits and gravy Andy's family served us every morning) but keeping the total to 22 lbs so far; the Pad is growing on track; she's lying sideways with her head on my left side and her feet on my right, a fact backed up by the left-side head butting I keep feeling; and I don't have GD or anemia. Next Tuesday I have my first non-stress test, and will continue to have them from now on.

The Pad is moving so much that it's almost uncomfortable, especially at night. I still love the feeling, but I love it a little less when I get a sharp kick to the bladder. I'm also noticing that I'm getting pretty uncomfortable, especially when I have to get out of bed or roll over, or climb the stairs (we have a townhouse, so I have to climb a lot of stairs). I probably should have exercised more, but I guess it's too late now.

Overall, I'm feeling decent, and even optimistic. Next week is Joseph's birthday, though, and I really don't know what that's going to be like. I am sort of feeling OK about it and dreading it at the same time.