Thursday, October 06, 2005

I'll prove to the crowd that I'll come out stronger/ (Though I think I might lie here a little longer...)

God, I'm so melodramatic. I'm sorry. I do feel better today. Starting to see that therapist was a good thing - I went and blubbered in her office for an hour, and she gave me permission to do whatever I want even if that means lying in bed crying all weekend, and even though I don't think it will, it's nice to have permission, as it were.

I am also bleeding today, and that's strangely relieving as well. I'm glad for the whole thing to just be over with. The next time I get pregnant, I want it to start out with no blood or drama or anxiety (OK, I ask for too much, there, but two out of three ain't bad).

I don't know what I really will do this weekend. Andy has a three-day master class with his bass teacher, which I insist on calling "band camp" to his great chagrin, so I'll be on my own. My mom offered to come up, but I don't think I really want her to. I love her, but I don't think that's what I need this weekend. Maybe I'll just curl up with some good books, and get some takeout sushi and wine. And I'm hoping to get tickets to see these guys on Monday. Their latest album has been in heavy rotation at our house since July (and my favorite song from it gave me the title to this entry).

Thanks for everyone's kind words. Things look a little brighter today.


At Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:06:00 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

Glad to hear you've gotten permission for a weekend of crying! Maybe thats just what we need sometimes, espeically this weekend. Or just knowing that you can take time to cry until you're done is a good thing. Also glad to hear the therapist is helping...

At Thursday, October 06, 2005 11:28:00 AM, Blogger cat said...

Yah for a therapist that tells you it's ok to mourn and cry. Sounds like a keeper.

Wishing you a weekend full of whatever you need it to be full of.

At Thursday, October 06, 2005 5:42:00 PM, Blogger lauralu said...

i feel like i'm reading about myself (except that my husband isn't going to band camp!) - i'm relieved to be done with the dramatic subsequent pregnancy, i don't want my mom hovering, i want wine and sushi (in which i have indulged heavily the last two days), and i'm wearing out the decemberists' cds. they will be here next weekend but we will have friends here from out of town with a small child and will have to miss them this time.

may you have a wine-and-sushi-filled weekend!

At Friday, October 07, 2005 5:25:00 PM, Blogger gabesmama said...

I hope your weekend is comfortable and when it is over you feel ready to start again. I'll have to check out the decemberist's. I don't know them.


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