Monday, September 05, 2005

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach

My brother called me yesterday. From his car, on his way home from vacation, to tell me that his wife is 11 weeks pregnant.

Nice chickenshit move there, bro. I guess they didn't want to deal with telling me in person, like grownups.

That also means that they practically ran right out from my hospital room and got knocked up. I don't think they were trying prior to that - they just got married not even a year ago, and they only closed on their house a month ago. I guess there's nothing like a dead baby to get everyone in the procreating spirit!

I know I sound like the world's most horrible person. I can't help it. I would never say these things to anyone ever. But I can't help that I'm thinking them. This was the ONE THING I was dreading - I had a sixth sense this was going to happen, and it was the ONE THING I wanted to avoid.

It's going to be an incredibly shitty year.

3 Comments:

At Monday, September 05, 2005 1:15:00 PM, Blogger Mrs.X said...

You are not a horrible person and I don't blame you one bit for being upset. The way they handled it was lousy and it is kind of a slap in the face. It's going to be a difficult pill to swallow for a long time.
My only suggestion is to focus on your move and TTC, the positive things in your life. I wish I had.
Don't get me wrong, I think you have every right to go with what you are feeling- but don't let it take you over.
Just remember that you have here when you feel like you are going to explode with it all!

(((NK)))

 
At Monday, September 05, 2005 5:26:00 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

I agree... you are not a horrible person. I'm sure i'd have the same feelings/thoughts. I have a lot of mixed feelings towards a friend who found out she was pregnant the week Kate died, but she obviously couldn't have changed anything after our loss, since she was already preggers. It sucks... i hope you can find a way to not let it consume you. That seems to be my goal in dealing with all of my friends who are pregnant or with new babies.

 
At Tuesday, September 06, 2005 9:56:00 PM, Blogger gabesmama said...

Here is the weird thing about your story. So I lost Gabe in October. My doctor went to the funeral and also my infertile friend. Both got pregnant right after the funeral. OK so my friend had a scheduled IVF visit. But still....they were just at the funeral and were probably pregnant within 2 weeks. I don't hold that against them, but I hated it when they had their babies in July since that meant that a whole pregnancy had gone by since I lost Gabe. I feel for you.

 

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