Going crazy

I'm hanging in there. No red blood since a very small amount on Saturday. Since then, nothing but brown spotting that was in steadily decreasing amounts - none at all when I woke up this morning.

Then I got to work and there was more brown than I'd had in a few days. But it's still not on the pad, it's only when I use the bathroom that I see it. (I'm sorry, TMI.) I have no pain.

I took the third First Response in the box this morning at 14 DPO (yes, I am a freak, why do you ask?) and it's darker still than the last one. So each one has gotten darker than the one before it. Doesn't that mean that the HCG is going up? So maybe not a miscarriage, but that doesn't rule out an ectopic.

The nurse who took my blood on Friday said to call by 9:30 AM if I hadn't heard anything yet. The results of the first draw won't tell me anything, but I'll go back sometime today for the second one.

I don't really believe in God, but I'm coming as close as I ever get to praying that this either sticks or is just a very early loss. Please don't let it be ectopic.

I woke up at 2