Hello

I used to keep a different blog, one that my friends and family had the password to. Last winter, I started using it to journal my pregnancy with J., my first baby. (I'm paranoid about using names, I'm sorry.)

Then J. died completely unexpectedly after delivery at 39.5 weeks. I wrote about his birth in my journal, but as the first few weeks went on I didn't feel comfortable writing about it anymore. I have wonderful friends and family and I discuss what happened with them - but I wanted a place where I could come and get everything out without wondering what they thought.

Why not just get a paper journal and write in that? I could, but in the last two months I've discovered a whole sad community on the web of people just like me. Reading their stories made me feel like less of a freak and gave me some hope. If someone who doesn't know me in real life can read what I write here and feel less alone, that would make me happy.